宝贵的人生建议（三）

I selected several especially worthwhile pieces of advice from Kevin Kelly's *Excellent Advice for Living* and have paired them with my own reflections. I hope they offer something we can all put into practice.

*\-01-*

Everyone is shy.

Other people are waiting for you

to introduce yourself;

they are waiting for you

to email them;

they are waiting for you

to invite them out.

Do not hesitate. Just do it.

Kevin: Whether introverted or extroverted, most people are shy. Some may appear distant, but that does not mean they do not want to interact with you; they may simply be waiting passively too. In relationships, taking the initiative often creates more connections. Do not fear rejection. When you approach the world positively, it is more likely to respond in kind.

****\-02-****

The more interested you are in others,

the more interesting they find you.

To become interesting,

first become interested in others.

Kevin: Everyone needs to feel valued. When you show genuine interest in someone, you meet that need and naturally earn their goodwill. While expressing yourself, remember to pay attention to others: ask questions, listen, and learn about them. This not only builds deeper relationships but also makes you more interesting and engaging.

*\-03-*

Believe me:

there is no “them.”

Kevin: Letting go of the idea of “them” means breaking free from binary, oppositional thinking. At heart, everyone is human and broadly similar. In life and at work, we should make the effort to understand and respect each individual and look for shared ground rather than points of opposition and difference. This reduces misunderstanding and prejudice, improves relationships, and makes society more inclusive.

*\-04-*

Most overnight successes

take at least five years of work.

In fact, every significant success does.

Once you understand this,

you will know how to plan your life.

Kevin: Overnight success is an illusion. No meaningful achievement comes easily. Behind it are years of accumulation and effort, along with countless failures that we rarely see. If we want to accomplish something significant, we need a long-term goal. Realistic expectations help us remain patient, reduce anxiety, enjoy the process, and ultimately make success more likely.

*\-05-*

You do not need more time,

because you already have all the time you have;

what you need is focus.

Kevin: Everyone has the same amount of time. The real problem is not that we lack time, but how effectively we use it—and focus matters most. Deep focus creates a state of flow in which we can complete work with greater quality and efficiency while experiencing a sense of fulfillment. Instead of wishing for more time, make the most of the present and develop your ability to concentrate.

*\-06-*

If you do not deliberately seek other people's approval,

you gain unlimited power.

Kevin: Freedom begins when we fully accept ourselves, including our imperfections and uniqueness. Freedom means releasing ourselves from constraint and no longer being limited by external standards or judgments. That power is immense: confident and independent, genuine and resolute, it allows us to unleash our full potential and creativity.